the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
