Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
