Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
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