it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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