the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
