Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
