Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
