went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
