WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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