You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
