I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
