The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
