Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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