She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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