ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
