I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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