I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
