ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
