Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
