Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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