the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
