Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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