What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
