then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I know her cup size but not her name....
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