I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
