there's paper in my vomit.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
