U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
