someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
