Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
