it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
