Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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