you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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