I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
