You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
