i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
