just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
