It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
