I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
its not stalking. its research.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
