i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
