is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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