yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Me too!
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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