remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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