Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
