I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
