I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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