I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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