Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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