I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
