the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
