Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
