Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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